Jon Watts | this is the ghostjon speaking | Lyrics
I can’t tell you all of the things you don’t see. It’s your responsibility to ask. And if you don’t ask, I have to sit back and just watch as you make yourself mad. But you’re mad at a Jon that just doesn’t exist, or he only exists in your world. And when we interact his existence insists that it fits in between all my words. But it doesn’t fit. I mean, I’m not saying it. The Jon you listen to’s a liar. And this thing you hear him say. that I’m running away: I’m not running, I’m just walking I’m so tired. I don’t know how to tell you that I can’t hear him. You don’t even believe that there’s a difference. So I’m listening in with this distinction. I won’t apologize when he hurts your feelings. (this is the Ghost Jon speaking.)
I’ve absorbed quite a bit of anger now meant for someone else and my hurt and my distance prove your theory. But I’m not theoretical. I’m hurt and I’m sad and it only gets worse when spoken clearly. This is the Ghost Jon speaking.
This is the Ghost Jon speaking. That’s the Jon you can’t hear. It’s the Jon that’s always talking; never louder than your fear.
So when you come to my place and try to say goodbye and I look into your face and all I do is cry, that’s the Jon that answers questions like, “why?”
Because I’m hurt right now and I feel my lips are bound. Because I lost trust you’ll hear me. That loss is so profound. Because I’m in a state of grieving. I can’t see what joy we’ve found. Because you play me like a xylophone that stopped creating sound. Because I love you and I miss you but I have a lot of anger now.
Because we died. This relationship is dead. I need some time to miss it and to turn it on its head, to stop trying to force it and just let it be in stead. This is the closure time, that’s why. That’s why.